Wobbly legs and pain in the ass!

Its been two horrible days for me. It all started with a friend who suggested detox for our body and daring me to do it. Being macho, i must accept challenge lo... never back down from a dare..thats my motto and im now regretting it.

To initiate the detox, all you need is a pack of "EPSOM SALT" available in major pharmacies (only cost 5 bucks for this sucker). Dont even read the instruction outside the box, it will only scare you off the process. Uses of Epsom Salt includes....fertiliser for plants, external application on skin to ease muscle pain and fabric softener. I was like "huh!" nothing about mixing with water and drinking it!

But my friend keep insisting its ok to drink the deadly concoction. So like a sucker...i mixed two huge tablespoon with warm water and gulp it down. It tasted horrible! Drank another 4 cups of water as instructed by this FRIEND, and waited for reaction. 2 hours passed...nothing happened...just some minor growling in the stomach but other than that nothing. Drank another 2 cups of water, still nothing. Little did i know its the calm before the storm!

My stomach starts to churned inside out, growling horribly. And then it happened. The dam was broken by the force of the rushing water. Being a smart alec...i was still wearing long pants with the belt fasten. Timing of running to the toilet, unbuckling belt and taking off pants is less than 10 seconds. The moment i sat down, it was like a waterfall...none stop...going and going. All the water i drank came out instantly. This is round one.

After the first round...i feel dehydrated. So i drank more water...BIG MISTAKE! 5 minutes later im in the toilet again...everything out again....by the time im finished...my legs were wobbly. i crashed to the sofa...lying there exhausted. That was round two.

Im dehydrated...dying for water...yet i know if i drink more water, i will go through hell again. Furthermore the toilet stinks...and my ass hurts! So its a catch-22 situation. Quench your thirst or continue purging. So i thought maybe one cup of water will not be so bad...BIG MISTAKE! Round three! That it...i had enough.. no more water for the moment... i rather die of thirst then going through it again.

The good thing is my stomach feels empty...and i dont feel like eating so i skipped lunch and dinner. I dont think anyone would have the appetite to eat, not after going thru the smell, looking at the end product and the energy wasted on waste.

I dont think i will be doing it for a long time......if you plan to do it.. GOOD LUCK! just make sure you are not having a date that same day...or even the next day.... you dont want to leave some smelly impression!

I need a hair cut!

Its been a month since i visited the barber... and i look like a mess now. I have freezy and curly hair...not a pretty sight if they are longer than 2 inch. It is like in the cartoons...when the character got electrocuted..... yeah my hair is exactly like that...straight up ever pointing to the sky.

I wasn't like that when i was a little kid...i still remember i have smooth silky black hair. Dunno what happened, maybe its the food or the water or some mysterious static around me... my hair just changed.

Maybe I should try some expensive saloon instead of the normal mamak barber i go to. Maybe i should go through some treatment and whatever the stylist advise me to. What is a few hundred bucks if they can save my hair. Anyone can recommend me a good place?... Maybe I should just keep it long and see what happens... maybe the longer it gets, the force of graviti will take place and my hair will not be pointing up anymore. Maybe i should dye it too... blue perhaps...

I can imagine two outcome to this experiment:



left: if my hair keeps growing towards the sky
right: graviti actually WORKS!

imagine the hair only! im not planning to change sex anytime soon!

However... knowing myself, i dont think i would be willing to part with a few hundred bucks for a hair cut. So if i keep my hair long and unkept, with grey hair spruting out everyday, soon i would look like this:




again imagine the hair and maybe the cigarette only!


I shouldnt be complaining though. At least i still have hair on my scalp. It is still better to have some hair than no hair at all...



DOH!

so my dearest readers.. count your blessings!

Mother's Day

A week has passed since I last posted in this blog. Been quite busy with plenty of things happening...some good, some bad...

Anyway, Mother's Day was just over and I think Father's Day will be coming real soon some time in June. My family celebrated Mother's Day with a simple dinner at Secret Recipe. Nothing much, just a small, quick and rather quiet dinner.

After the dinner, I was asking myself.... why is there a Mother's Day or a Father's Day? It is supposed to be a day people show love and gratitude to their parents... but shouldn't it be a everyday thing? Why need a day to remind ourselves that we are suppose to love our parents? Maybe that is just us... always need reminders and taking things for granted.

One thing i notice also is the difficulties in expressing love to our parents and vice-versa. I believe those who is of older generations has been brought up under strict regime of "it is shameful to express love explicitly unless to your partner". Unlike the "gwailos" how many of us ever told "i luv you" to people other than your partners? Maybe the new generations.... but definately not my generations.

I remembered during my early secondary school days... my parents enrolled me to some seminars on life improvement thingy. This was because one of my uncle went through the seminar and found it useful. So i had to go. First thing i realised was the materials was in chinese and the seminar was in mandarin! I was like...huh??? Anyway... i just follow along and tried to keep low profile. The seminar was teaching us how to live life and to respect others....or something like that.

The one thing i remembered about this seminar was...there is a session whereby the lights was switched off and as a result the room was pitch black...Then the speaker was telling us to reflect on our pass and how we did wrong to our parents... and everybody around me was beginning to sob... and then cried.... oh my gosh!!! I was like...huh??? what is goin on??? then a mike was passed around for people who wants to confess and express their feelings. some was crying and mentioned about their sins... some regretted as their parents died... and NO! i didn't use the mike!

Moral of the story was...to tell your parents that you love them before its too late. So the assignment of the day was that... go home and tell your parents "i luv you". I can tell you this...it is not easy to say " i luv you" to your parents. I dont know why but I think after 14 years of upbringing without the word " i luv you"... it is difficult. Darn difficult.

Anyway, I waited and waited to gain some courage... and finally i was alone with my dad at the kitchen. Mum was asleep already by that time. I was looking at my dad and I blurted it out. " Dad... I luv you" He was shock and for a minute there is no expression on his face. Silence.....very awkward situation for both of us.....and it lasted forever.... and then he smiled.

It has been another 14 years since i last said "i luv you" to my parents.... and i havent even said it to my mum. Hmmm when will i have the courage?

Have you told your parents that you love them?

Malacca Part 3

After my revelation on the toilet bowl issue... we took a rest in the hotel before venturing out again to round the city. Did a lot of driving...pass the klebang beach, the red church, jonker street again... and then to Mahkota Parade.

Mahkota Parade is quite small in comparison to the KL malls but with air conditioning..its a blessing in the hot afternoon. My friend was trying to look for a G2K suit which was out of stocks in KL... hoping that it will be available here. Search the whole place and no shops on G2000. Almost gave up hope when we decided to search in Parkson Grand (the anchor tenant).

Found that they do sell G2K in the men's department...a good sign. Went straight to the ladies department... aiks... no G2K?! Ask around and confirmed no G2K for the ladies... Kinda strange to have only G2K line ups for men but not for ladies. Im sure the purchasing power of the ladies are much higher than guys! and how many guys will be buying suits for work..especially in Malacca? Ladies are different...they love jackets and suits...no matter what the weather is. Take a look around your office and im sure some of the ladies would have suit hanging on her chair. Correct me if im wrong..but that's my humble observation.

After Mahkota Parade, we went for early dinner at Gajah Behrang (i think it meant Berserk Elephants! or is it Elephants in heat?) Dinner was satay celup and im glad we were there early... the pots of satay sauce is still clean... at least im not worried of dipping and cooking our food in a mixture of satay sauce and other people's saliva....Not as spectacular as i thought but maybe its the saliva that enhance the taste... who knows!?

Went to Tesco to get some snacks... and found that almost half of the Malacca population is there. No wonder the city is deserted. Well grab some snacks and went back to the hotel. There goes the day.. didnt do much, but the purpose of this trip is to relax anyway....

Malacca Part 2

After a breakfast of nyonya laksa and cendol, decided to walk around Jonker street. Jonker street would be heaven to those who loves antiquities, arts and crafts. Hang around until noon and was getting tired, so we decided to check in at Riviera Bay Hotel near Klebang Beach.

The hotel room was huge! Much much bigger than any other hotel rooms I have been. I think you can comfortably fit a family of seven into it.

Ok, first thing i did when in the room was to relief myself...(to pee pee) too much cendol and cold drinks. So as i was standing there relieving myself, i noticed that toilet bowls in hotels normally have different set-up. In hotels, the toilet bowls are normally half filled with water... like a mini pool. I dont understand why they want so much water in the bowl. Cant they just use the normal set up whereby there is very little water down at the bottom?

Why am i being fussy?! Well the hotel set up is not suitable for guys! Normally a straight guy will be standing up while doing his business... so imagine with so much water in the bowl, a mixture of water and yellow matter will be splattering out to the floor and to your leg as you pee pee. You cant ask a guy to sit down and pee pee... its kind of wierd too. This hotel set up for toilet bowls is definately not suitable for straight guys.

Anyway, why would they do that?! The only reason that i can think of is.... to minimise the occurence of your mud cakes being smudged on the toilet bowl. Example, if you are processing your mud cakes, in the hotel toilet bowl set up, your mud cakes will be hitting the water first and then would be dissolved into chocolate water... so no yucky smudges on the bowl and no need to clean up so much.... but my complaint is, if you are processing some heavy duty mud cakes, it would behave like a bomb and as it drops... DOM! SPLASH! you would have stuffs smeared on your butt cheeks.... gross!...

I still dont understand why they want to set up the toilets in such a way... do you?

Malacca Part 1

Drove to Malacca last Saturday morning and it has been ages since I was there. The plan was to start early to beat the traffic and reach Malacca in time for breakfast. No traffic jam... hmmm a good sign.. and we reached at about 8.30am. Went straight to Jonker street for breakfast... plenty of parking space...hmmm another good sign.

By the way, where is everybody?!! Except for a few people, the streets are empty, shops are still closed. Hmm, maybe we are too early... a bit kiasu already :).

Notice that we have to pay for parking...even on weekends and public holidays. Darn! this Malacca Municipal really knows how to make money. We have to buy some coupons and do the "scratch and win" thing. You have to scratch the year, month, dates and time and one coupon is for one hour. So if you intend to stay for 3 hours, you have to scratch 3 coupons...what idiotic system is this! Its a waste of paper and so environmentally unfriendly!

Where to get the coupons? you might ask... well you can get them in authorised agents in many of the shops around Jonker street and the shops hanged out mini signboards to advertise...BUT at 8.30am none of the shops is open! and the official parking hours start at 8am! Another idiotic system.... I had to walk several blocks just to get me self some coupons. So some walking exercise before breakfast... hmm no a good sign after all... :(

Aiks! Double whammy!

Watched a horror movie yesterday. "Fragile" is the name, horror is not its game. Its a boooorrriiiinggg movie with little to offer. Basically a low cost movie with two main cast...Calista Flockhart (crazy Ally Mcbeal) and a kid (a miniature Katie Holmes).

Almost fell asleep in the first 10 minutes of the show and I can sense that on my friends too... fidgeting in their seats and whispering to each other :) I dont think there is any scary part in the show except for one part... oohhh how i wish the censorship board cut off that scene... yuck!

I guess our beloved censorship board fell asleep when reviewing this film... first there were obscenities (english 4 letter word) shouted by Ally Mcbeal ... horror no. 1... she must be one itchy lady, asking the doctor, medicine and even the rain to "do" her.

When finally the ghost made her (its) appearance, i wish the scene was cut... it was disgusting, horrible and I almost puked! The ghost is actually an old lady with metals stuck to her body. The face part is not scary at all...actually its like a grandmother having her face pulled (to hide all the wrinkles and lines). The horror begins as the camera moves down away from the face... horror no 2... she is naked! and the camera zooms in on her two sagging, preserved papayas. Gasp! How can the censorship missed this part and still classify the movie as U (Umum)?!!!

Anyway... give this movie a miss unless you are a pervert who wants to see some granny's boobies!

Not a good day for me... first the nightmarish show, then the trashing by the Spaniards. Sigh...its ok Boro... lets keep on hoping for the best (that what i have left too)...our day will come!

Footie!

Football… a game where 22 guys (or gals) running after a ball + 2 guys (or gals) running on a straight line waving flags + 1 guy ensuring nobody is “touching the ball” or “touching one another”

Dunno why people liked the game so much. As for me, not really a fanatic but watches the game occasionally. Started watching the game about 10 years back when most of my friends are already a supporter to some clubs. Every now and then people will ask… “who do you support?” Bored with the questions, I just chose a club… MU.

Kinda have different feelings when watching a game when you are supporting the team…a bit more exciting cause you get to jeer at the losers and vice versa. Anyway I didn’t support MU for long….. was really put off by some of the snobbish and LCLY supporters. Remember that was like 7, 8 years ago….

Then I started seriously looking for a club to support… and I found one! The club was with ambition but a single player attracted me to the club… Middlesbrough and Juninho! That little Brazilian was amazing and I like the supporters… hard-core fans… mainly hooligans from the north!

In a stadium, you can differentiate fans from MU and Boro…. MU fans are a bit quiet… most of them foreigners and was there just to watch their favorite team play…watching quietly. Boro fans are fanatics…very loud…very emotional…full of actions (i.e plenty of vulgarism, songs and hand signs) :)

Well after all this years…. We are in the UEFA Cup finals….finally something big for the club. Hope we can beat those *&@! Spaniards and bring the cup home to Riverside!

Boro! Boro! Boro!

First Blood!

Hello blog!

Just trying out for the first time the feeling of having my first blog... dunno whether i would have the discipline to post blogs in the future but what the heck.. lets try it out!

kinda exciting to write, just like a kid with a new toy... like the first taste of smoke... like the first time getting HIGH... like the Madonna song "like a virgin"

well wish me luck! will give this blog a try!