Apa LJ LJ!

The following entry has contents that may disturb readers. Continue reading at your own risk.


Was at a mamak session with some colleagues when the topic of getting by without money came up. Imagine this situation, you were queuing up a bus and when it’s your turn to pay, you realized that you are penniless. What would you do? Get off the bus that instant second? Beg for your bus fare from your fellow commuters?

My friend and I were in a bus many years ago and we learnt a trick of getting a free ride on public buses. We were at the back of the bus, chit-chatting when a scrawny guy boarded the bus and went pass the driver without paying a single cent. Of course the bus driver was pissed and asked the guy to pay up.

Bus Driver: Oi, belum bayar lagi lah (oi, you haven’t paid yet)
Guy: (yelling) APA LAN JIAO LAN JIAO!!!!!(what dick dick!!!)

The bus driver was shocked and started driving, ignoring that guy.

So my friends, you can try this method next time you want a free ride. Of course there is a technique to it. You can’t pull this of if you do it sheepishly. Imagine:

Bus Driver: Oi, belum bayar lagi lah
You: (looking sheepishly) apa lan jiao lan jiao….
Bus Driver: LAN JIAO KEPALA OTAK KAU!!! ( most probably you will be wacked by now)

So, if you want to pull this off, you need to have tons of confidence. Put on a mean looking face and scream as loud as possible. What if you are a female? Of course you can still use the phrase above but it is not so accurate. There are some variations for the ladies to consider. You can either use APA PUKI PUKI or APA CHI BAI CHI BAI.

Of course the above is still applicable in other situation. You can try saying to your boss when the bonus or increment is not good. Or when some colleagues try to “tai chi” some extra work to you. Basically you can use it anytime.

Or you can use some censored version among friends, APA LJ LJ!, APA PK PK! or APA CB CB!.

Hope you have learnt a new phrase today and happy using it. :P